Ryan, fixed it for yaI found this online. Enjoy.
Should not be read in the presence of liquid or food!!
- A new dent in the sheet metal actually fixed another dent, or it just added some character.
- You know at least 3 800 numbers to aftermarket off-road business by heart.
- You are on a first name basis with the guys at every local auto parts store in town.
- You want to take things apart and rebuild them, even if they are not broken.
- You have a monetary equivalent of a Mercedes Sedan invested into your jeep, but it still looks like crap.
- You consider starting a vehicle five times in any given minute routine.
- You own a vehicle, which now weighs 1000 pounds more than when it came off the showroom floor.
- You look for jeeps in everything, and try to figure out the year and model.
- You are the type of person who immediately goes postal if you sit in a highway traffic jam more than 5 minutes, yet you can spend six hours driving one and half miles and consider it to be a form of relaxation.
- You'll stop and look at any old rust heap thinking parts vehicle.
- Your Jeep has more (farm/boat/military/other) equipment on it than OEM parts.
- The weatherman says "Stay in, it's dangerous" and you think "Time to go wheeling".
- You are happy that you can't use 1st gear on the street.
- A military convoy passes by and you only look at the axles, tires, and antennas.
- You have enough straps, chains, rope, etc. in your Jeep to keep the Queen Mary docked during a hurricane.
- You understand that JEEP is a way of life, not just for transportation.
- You use a hose to clean the inside and the outside.
- A low-rider Jeep pulls up next to you, and you get out and Bitch slap the driver.
- You have a high-water mark on the Inside of the Jeep.
- You use a ice scraper on the Inside of the windshield.
- The AAA guy breaks down, you stop and fix his problem and get back on the road.
- You'll drive 2 days at 600 miles a day so you can spend 2 more days driving 3 miles per day.
- You have more pictures of your Jeep than of your kids.
- You spend more time deciding which $3.00 bushing to use than you do on personal hygiene.
- You take your date home early on a Saturday night so you can work on your Jeep.
- You call a scratch or dent, a beauty mark.
- You roll it over and don't get upset.
- You puke when you see a RAV-4.
- You pull into the Unplowed parking spots on snowy days.
- You take your friends wheeling and they say, "Trail?; I don't see any trail!"
- You've been forced to add CJ, YJ, and TJ to your spell checker.
- It rains and you don't care if your top and doors are on or off.
- You change your plugs in the parking lot at work while on break.
- You get more heat through the holes in the floor than you do through the heat vent.
- Every page of your repair manual has greasy finger prints on it.
- Every car wash in town has banned you for life.
- You feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser.
- You are the only one on the street that doesn't plow their driveway.
- You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage.
- You nickname your Jeep after i.e.. the noise it makes, the last screw up on the trail, etc.
- You can air up your tires without stopping at a gas station.
- You carry more extra fuel than what most of today's cars hold in their gas tanks.
- You're constantly getting passed on the highway.
- When rendezvousing with a lady for the first time, you tell her that you're the one that smells like a Jeep.
- Winter comes and you can't remember where you put the top.
- Your wallet is always empty.
- You know how to reinforce the windshield frame near the wiper arm.
- You carry along a replacement part for every driveline component on the Jeep.
- You slam your door and pieces of mud or rust fall from your Jeep.
- You have to let the air out of your tires to get the Jeep into a garage.
- Your parts department is on blocks behind your house.
- Passengers scream "Don't Roll It!" when you take them wheeling.
- Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it.
- You think any tire that isn't waist high looks like a bagel.
- You can't take a girl in a dress on a date without carrying along some steps.
- You can't sneak into church late because the engine is too loud.
- You get custom pin striping from trail brush.
- You are outlawed at every car wash in town.
- You can see OVER a Suburban
- You're sitting here reading this while your wife/husband is waiting for you in bed.
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